happy ending?

ok, i haven't blogged in a bit..sorry, there hasn't really been anything new and spectacular to write about lately. but since this is week 10 i figured it's necessary to do an update, etc.
i hate to say it, but i've said it before..and i'm not being a "negative nancy" or anything...but.....my goal of running for 30mins without stopping isn't going to happen. it's not that i can't do it, because I KNOW i can. it's not even a "eh..i'm pretty sure i can do it." I KNOW I CAN DO IT.  the reason why i haven't and reluctantly have to say that i didn't meet my goal (even typing that just hurts my heart, ego, etc) is due to my lovely "little sidekick." and to reiterate, i'm not trying to place blame or make excuses. however, due to my special circumstances/situation, it's pretty much been impossible to be able to run nonstop when you have a "little sidekick" to attend to every once in awhile..and it's not my choice when it will be. sometimes i've had to stop a few seconds into a run, or had to stop a few seconds after i just stopped before..it's frustrating. but over the past 10 weeks, i've learned to not let it bother me. it is what it is. and at this moment in my life, i can't change much, so i just adapt and do what i can. so that's what i've been doing.
it just really gets to me that i have to admit defeat. and the fact that i'm defeated by this "little" thing..that requires much attention and that i'm 100% responsible for 24/7. so yeah. i didn't meet my goal. however, i did what i could with the situation i'm in and that's alot more than most people would be able to say or do.  dedication, consistency and perseverance are traits that i am extremely proud to say that i possess. and i'm not bragging either. it takes alot to keep at it, especially with all the various factors thrown in there that come along with my life.
in the end, i'm happy with what i've accomplished these past 10 weeks. i'm not going to lie..i'm pretty disappointed too. but that's just me. everyone is their own worst critic and i know i'm hard on myself. if i wasn't then i'd never improve, right? either way, the week is almost over and i'll be sure to do a tally of the miles i ran. i didn't set a goal in that department, and after tallying them up over the week, i was pushing for 100 miles in 10 weeks (which isn't much to most, but it is to me) but i've fallen short of that. but, i am DAMN PROUD of the fact that i kept up with my run schedule and goals even though i broke one of my toes! i don't care what anyone else says about it either. i did what i wanted to, what i thought was best for me and that's that. i refuse to let anyone or anything (besides the "little sidekick" haha!) tell me what i can/can't do.

so i guess this blog got kind of rant/ramble/soapbox-ish, and i'm hoping it all made sense. i'll be writing again soon to give the final numbers and to talk about my next goal.