my buddy.

i had a good run today. with the exception of having to stop twice due to my "little sidekick" being a bit obnoxious.  which made me realize that as the weeks go on, am i going to be able to run for 30mins without stopping? physically, yes. but realistically, maybe not.  and i'm not being negative nancy, i'm saying it because it most likely will be true..due to the fact that even though i may not have a workout buddy, i do have a "sidekick" or as i affectionately call it, my "baby arrest band" (which is similar to a house arrest band, where you can't leave home without it!) and because of my special circumstances, it is a reality that i may have to occasionally stop for about 20-30seconds to "fix" whatever is wrong with her. although i'm not ok with this and it does make me feel a bit like a cheater so-to-speak..because i have to stop, not because of me or that i need to, it's because i HAVE to. so i'm trying to get past that and take into account that i am running toward my goal that i set up for myself, but it will be altered a little bit because i don't have any other choice.  it does make me sad. i guess i got lucky the first few days when i actually didn't need to attend to her and she stuck it out just fine, just like i did! but i should have known that it was pure luck that it happened that way, because normally i do have to take a few seconds out of my workout numerous times to "adjust my arrest-band" and keep things ok, so i can finish my workout.
and after realizing all of this--yet again--i come back to the wish of having a workout buddy.  and not one that is sitting in a stroller, watching me from the reflection in the gym windows. a buddy that is working out along side me, pushing me to do better and vice versa.  but again, reality sets in along with my special situation and i know that a workout buddy isn't in my future. so my focus and motivation come from within myself, the goals i've set for myself and wanting to fill in my run schedule/chart with good numbers and so i can see the stats that i log on my fitday account and so i can blog about how i'm progressing.  so in actuality, i'm my own workout buddy.  or my chart, fitday and my blog are my buddies. it's what keeps me going.  plus, it feels so good to know that i'm doing this just because.  i'm doing this because I WANT TO. not for any other reason other than i want to see what i'm capable of accomplishing. i want to push myself to be better at something. and the next 10wks is about pushing myself to be a better runner.  and for those of you that know me from way back..this is coming from a girl who said that she would only run if she was being chased.  ha..and look at me now!  crazy how things change and how you evolve into a different person than you were even just a few years ago.  transformations and changes are awesome.  and in my opinion, absolutely necessary to keep you going.  to keep you from being stagnant and complacent in your life.  to keep you from being mediocre and to keep you on track to becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.  and once you think that you're finally at your best, you end up finding something else that keeps pushing you to go above and beyond what you thought was "your best,"  that's what it's all about.
life is an adventure.  and i'm definitely running toward all that is amazing and waiting for me to discover along the way.  yes, i know that there are times when you need to slow down and enjoy the adventure.  but at the moment..i've got so much momentum going and know that my goal is waiting for me to meet it that i'm not stopping until i do.